The Arts of Ritual, Flexibility and Freedom
Originally posted on February 12th, 2025
The soundtrack to this post is “Tezeta” by Mulatu Astatke
Welcome to wholistic wellbeing post #4!
I LOVE habits, rituals and routines.
For example, one of my favorite recent rituals is lighting the candle on my nightstand and enjoying it while I do my evening meditation and reading. When I get in bed, I put on my sleep mask, put on my headphones, turn on ‘sleep music' through the Insight Timer app, blow out the candle and go to sleep. I think I usually get to sleep within two or three minutes.
In the mid 2000’s I discovered a love of running. So, each day I’d wake up, get dressed, put on some running shoes and go for a run first thing in the morning. I did it every day for a couple of years. Then, I started to notice my knees hurting. It turned out that running every day on uneven pavement was not healthy for my knees. As they say, ‘Too much of a good thing...’ (I still love to run but I don’t do it every day and I try to run on dirt as much as possible)
One thing I love about habits, rituals and routines is they give me a sense of agency. Most of my deliberate habits are born from some particular desire. It feels empowering to behave consistently in manners that bring those desires into reality. But have you ever felt a sense of loss of agency from the very habits that were supposed to be a reflection of your agency?
Last Wednesday, I experienced one of those days where I checked off everything on my to-do list. Things didn’t all go according to plan. I had to make some adjustments and respond to some challenges. However, because of several of my habits, there was a flow to the day that kept things moving despite the challenges. But at the end of the day, I felt there was something missing. In a sense, I felt a bit overrun by my own habits.
I read recently in “The Psychology of Money,” by Morgan Housel, “if there’s a common denominator in happiness -a universal fuel of joy- it’s that people want to control their lives."
Housel himself quotes from a 1981 book, “The Sense of Wellbeing in America,” by Angus Campbell, the following: “Having a strong sense of controlling one’s life is a more dependable predictor of positive feelings of wellbeing than any of the objective conditions of life we have considered.”
The idea of “controlling one’s life” seems like a pleasant notion. However, the notion seems to ignore the beauty in the observation of the things we can’t control and our magnificent ability to respond. Housel was making an argument for the pursuit of freedom through financial independence, and I passionately agree with this meaningful and worthwhile pursuit.
However, I’m grateful I was able to notice how empty I felt last Wednesday. I’d forgotten to slow down and mindfully respond to the things that were beyond my control; both pleasant and challenging.
Last Friday, my wife shared the following quote with me:
“The life must be a well-balanced life, not lopsided in any manner, to bring contentment.” - Edgar Cayce
So, it’s totally great that I LOVE my habits to the extent that they serve me, rather than me serving them!
Do you love habits and rituals? What’s your favorite current habit? I’ll share mine in the comments dialogue. How do you go about remaining “open” and not being overrun by your deliberate habits?
I look forward to growing with you in wellbeing,
Wellbeing Grant
