"It suits me"
Originally published on May 19th, 2025
Below, are some excerpts from a book I recently read, called “What I talk about when I talk about running,” by Haruki Murakami. I was listening to the audiobook in one of my favorite local cafes when I got to the following portion:
When I tell people I run every day, some are quite impressed. “You really must have a strong will,” they sometimes tell me. Of course, it’s nice to be praised like this. A lot better than being disparaged, that’s for sure. But I don’t think it’s merely willpower that makes you able to do something.
To tell the truth, I don’t even think there’s that much correlation between my running every day and whether or not I have strong will.
I think I’ve been able to run for more than twenty years for a simple reason: It suits me.
Human beings naturally continue doing things they like, and they don’t continue what they don’t like.
No matter how strong a will a person has, no matter how much he may hate to lose, if it’s an activity he doesn’t really care for, he won’t keep it up for long. Even if he did, it wouldn’t be good for him.
That’s why I’ve never recommended running to others. I’ve tried my best never to say something like, Running is great. Everybody should try it. If some people have an interest in long-distance running, just leave them be, and they’ll start running on their own. If they’re not interested in it, no amount of persuasion will make any difference.
We have so many ways of measuring ourselves and others. Sometimes we measure by the number of observable habits one has that appear to be positive or negative. There are a number of things that “suit me” that others have expressed are enviable. For example, I am “financially oriented” and I enjoy the company of my wife and children much more than activities like partying or gambling. One thing that “suits me” that I don’t talk about much, particularly amongst my male friends is Weight Watchers. I’ve been a weight watcher since the early 2010’s. I haven’t sat in on a meeting in years, but if I find myself struggling a bit to achieve my weight goals, I’d go back to the meetings in a heart beat. And there are very few men at the meetings, so I do feel a smidge self-conscious about it. It’s normal for guys to chat about the sports they play or workouts, but not weight watchers.
Then there are several things that “suit me,” that are generally not associated with positive outcomes. For me, my love affair with sugar fits in this category. I have a serious sweet tooth. Also, sitting alone reading, while listening to jazz and sipping bourbon suits me much more than watching sports or cable news or scrolling through social media. Perhaps you think I sound sophisticated, which if so is hilarious. The reason I mention it is because when it comes to networking, I struggle a bit. The older I get the more introverted I become. My interests are more specific than broad and even my take on politics is nuanced and it can be hard to find common ground or make small talk. I much prefer one-on-one conversations to group conversations. Many people say who you know is as important as or more important than what you know. I’d say that what you know can be very positively correlated with who you know. But my more introverted ways and interests suit me.
I hope I’m not obscuring the point I am trying to make. I’m not interested in making an inventory of the things that suit me and categorizing them by “beneficial,” “detrimental” and “neutral” (although now that I write that… tempting!!!"). My point is that I believe there is tremendous value in accepting ourselves for who we are. Instead of lamenting some element of our lives, particularly when comparing ourselves with others, there is an alternative. Consider that much of what we do derives from that which suits us. If we are struggling, sure we can do something about it. Absolutely! But let’s not beat ourselves up for what we are not. Let’s find a way to our joy in doing what suits us. Just because I have a sweet tooth, I don’t choose to eat sweets every day. Ideally, I eat REALLY GOOD sweets, which frankly, I don’t have access to every day. Ideally, they are homemade, to which I have even less access. Just because I don’t love sports and small talk, doesn’t mean I have to be a hermit. I stay connected by serving on boards and finding other ways to contribute to my community.
What suits you?
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