Developing a writing practice (or any practice of creation and sharing)

Originally published December 18th, 2024

I have this intention to share my thoughts on wellbeing and I'm encountering the monsters on the bus.

About 10 years ago I was in therapy because I was struggling with depression and as I began to see through the depression, I came to understand that I wanted to make a big change in my life and that I was terrified to make the change.

That’s when my therapist introduced me to the monsters on the bus. He told me that I was like a bus driver who has been driving a route that goes straight down the same street each day. He explained that I have discovered that I am interested in getting off this route and making a turn. I really want to make this turn and it's exciting to think about it and fantasize about it but the minute I even think about making the turn, I look in the rear view mirror and I see the passengers on the bus and I get concerned. I look toward the back of the bus and see a particularly menacing group and I can't see their faces under their hats, hoods and other coverings. But they look menacing and the joy and excitement about making a turn is dimmed when I look back there.

(wellbeing of the mind post #1)

Sometimes I even get up the courage to turn the bus off the route. When the courage comes, I even slightly nudge the wheel to the left to make the turn and when I do this, I see them react a bit in the back of the bus. Their movement and stirring makes me more nervous and I straighten out and they relax. "This is ridiculous," I think. This is my bus and I'm driving it. So I decide! I'm gonna turn. Once I do this and begin to actually turn the bus, they stand up and it's REALLY scary. So I straighten back out.

My therapist told me that this is a very normal dynamic when it comes to change. Anytime you want to deviate from the norm that you have created, there are psychological monsters on the bus that scare us. This is a different take on the law of inertia. It's not just that change requires energy or work… change often stimulates stifling fear. But my therapist told me there was very good news. Those creatures on the bus can't harm me at all. It's just fear and thoughts. Totally innocuous. He told me that if I turn the bus, they will actually sit back down and go along for the ride. Ten years ago I made a major career change - assisted with this new understanding of my thoughts and how to surmount them. The change was very beneficial. It came with a cost that I am still paying, but it offered rewards that I am still reaping; and the rewards outweighed the cost.

I really want to talk about wellbeing but I've found it difficult to get started. Here I am now. The monsters are sitting back down and I am sharing a note on mental wellbeing that I've found invaluable. I look forward to sharing more and I really look forward to these monsters buckling up, shutting up and just going a long for the ride.

Be Well

- Wellbeing Grant